As Dawn Begins

My almost 3 year old son, Max, went to bed two nights ago with a 102.9* fever. He had woken up at midnight crying hysterically so I got up to check on him. His little body felt on fire. I managed to calm him down with some medicine and his “juicies”. He then got this sweet little look on his face and asked if he could watch his favorite show, Mickey Mouse Club House, on the iPad. Of course he could! I figured that guaranteed sleep for me who is still nursing a 7 week old at night.

I was wrong.

I don’t know how long he stayed up watching Mickey Mouse, but he woke up every 2 hours after that burning up with fever and only settling down with more juicies and Mickey. What’s crazy was that he was up at 7am the next morning, still with fever, but with a smile on his face wishing me a good morning as if he was completely rested. That afternoon he took about a two hour nap, which was not quite long enough because I only managed to sneak in 20 minutes of an episode of Once Upon A Time. Both Max and my 19 month old Charlie were crying their little hearts out from their cribs at 3:45pm and surely you can guess how I calmed them down. Yes indeed, juicies and Mickey Mouse Club House on Mommy’s TV.

That night all I could think about was how quickly each day comes and then goes, and how fast my 3 little boys are growing up. Today is one day closer to eternity. Yesterday is already in the books never to return. Just last week I was 16, then I blinked and now I’m 26. I’ll blink again and my boys will be teenagers, and I’ll blink one more time and Lord willing I’ll be holding beautiful grand babies.

My hubs managed to help me in a matter of two minutes (versus the last 24 hours I spent thinking) to poetically express the purpose of this blog post:

As dawn begins, dusk awaits
Cherish each moment before it’s too late

I know we all are in different seasons of life, but we are all living! Don’t waste your days, friend. Enjoy God’s gracious blessings to you. Let go of any bitterness, frustration, discouragement, or anxiety before they steal away parts of your life. Cling to Christ in hope and trust, and let the joy of the Lord be your strength day by day.

Now don’t just focus only on God’s blessings! Focus on His mission and purpose for you. C.T. Studd wonderfully said,

“Only one life, twill soon be past
Only what’s done for Christ will last”

What is His purpose? To love Him with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. What is His mission? “Go and make disciples of all nations.” Christian, do you realize that’s not optional? And do you understand how Christ-centered and others-centered and not self-centered a life that is? And do you know how delightful and gratifying that life is?

Let’s not leave this kind of living to the super Christians and saints. Let’s join them.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2a

Content With The Thorns

I find myself doubly emotional these recent days. I’m naturally inclined emotionally to begin with, but I am in the third trimester of my current pregnancy and I do believe my hormones are doing flip flops as the skyrocket upward into infinity and beyond. This logical reasoning at least helps my confused husband somewhat understand why I’m sitting on the floor of our bedroom crying over just having had to discipline our 2 and 1/2 year old son.

It’s on a day like this (silly enough, a beautiful wintery day) that I feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed, honestly, by disciplining my children, my just plain tiredness, my sin and shortcomings, my lack of peace, and so many other things I’m too embarrassed to confess. I have so many thoughts that run through my mind concerning this:

Why am I so hung up with the same difficulties and challenges?
Why am I struggling with the same sin over and over again?
Why isn’t it getting any easier after so many years of struggling with the same exact thing?
Why am I not running to Christ quickly enough and pressing into Him when I should?
Why is my faith and trust so small?

This morning my husband took our oldest son, Max, for a hike, and I put our 1 year old, Charlie, down for a nap so I managed to steal away outside on the deck of the mountain home we’ve been staying in for the holidays for some quiet time in the Word and prayer. The Spirit had impressed upon my heart the familiar passage of 2 Corinthians 12 so I immediately turned there. “I must go on boasting. Though there is nothing to be gained by it,” Oh man, how my pride identifies with that. But I’ll save that blog post for another time and place. Skip down a handful of verses to 7-10,

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I don’t like my weaknesses and being weak; I want to learn to master them and be strong. How can I be content with my weakness? How do I reconcile being tired of my weaknesses and boasting in my weakness? I honestly don’t know! But that’s because I’m thinking on it and considering it through my finite, human terms. I don’t know if it will ever make sense through those terms.

“My grace is sufficient for you.” My grace. GRACE. Our only reconciliation comes from God’s grace and pressing into it! His infinitely, undeserved favor and pardon frees us from all finite, human terms. It frees us not to sin but from from sin. I can exclaim with the angels and the shepherds, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace and goodwill toward men!”

Press in, my dear friends! Press into God Almighty’s grace that is more than sufficient for us!

My Top 10 Verses as a Wife

I love my two sons more than I can describe.  My younger son Charlie (5 months) is laying beside me sucking on a toy and my older son Max (22 months) just picked a boogie out of his nose the size of New Mexico.  I have great joy in staying home and caring for them.  It can be very overwhelming at times, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Ironically, being Momma to my boys day in day out and the craziness that accompanies it doesn’t threaten my character as much as being a wife does.

Marriage.  Two broken and sinful people becoming one until death do you part.  It is remarkably wonderful and yet a most Herculean undertaking.  Committing to love for “better or worse” is no joke.  We usually associate tragedy to all things “worse” but let us also equate hot tempers and any other sin that casts an unattractive shadow upon our delinquent spouse.

One of the very first things I learned very quickly after getting married was that I was a lot worse of a person than I realized.  My meanness level went from low to high and the reality of not being as good as I thought was pretty devastating.

I hate the word unbecoming.  It has a sense of ugliness about it.  And it is the epitome of who I am when I quench the Spirit and lack love in the “worse” times of contentions with my husband.

I like to read and I crave insight on being a better wife through books, but I’m not too crazy about books on marriage that address the roles of husbands and wives.  Please don’t get me wrong, those books are excellent and very needed (especially if you read it together with your spouse), but rarely do I read those kind anymore.  If I do, I’m too busy thinking I wish my husband was reading this, then things would be easier to work through; not necessarily because I’m right and he’s wrong, but because the nuggets of wisdom  would be most beneficial to the both of us than just to me alone.   At this point, because of my own selfishness, I find it better for me to read a knowledgeable book written for women and wives than to be reading chapters on how my husband should be acting. But better still, let me go directly to the source of love itself, God and his Word.

My previous blog post was about my Top 10 bible verses as a Christian.  Well, my very close friend and I decided to create another: our Top 10 as a wife.  We know where our personal struggles and weakness lie in our role as wives so we individually created a quick list cheat sheet to run to since,

God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

Pride, anger, fear, selfishness, etc. are only some of the many hangups we have in our marriages, and the best way to combat them are through the Spirit and the powerful word of God.  I challenge you to create a condensed list of verses and begin to commit them to memory so that when you are tempted to unleash the fire-breathing dragon within upon your spouse you’ll first recognize the escape before you.

Here are just a few suggestions you can add to your list:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 2:3-5

A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike.  Proverbs 27:15

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.  Ephesians 4:32

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.  My Top 10James 1:19

My Top 10

Here’s an interesting fact about my husband and me for any of you who don’t know…

We are a legit eHarmony couple.  It’s true.  I was mortified to tell anybody at first.  I got talked into signing up for the online matchmaking program against my will.  Whenever anyone asked how we met I dodged the bullet by saying we had a mutual friend, which happened to be true (thank you, Facebook).  I didn’t fess up until on my wedding day; I had my new brother-in-law announce it to all the guest at our evening reception.  I big shocker to my Floridian friends.

When I registered for an eHarmony account I had to fill out this long questionnaire in order for their search engines to find compatible matches for me.  Once the questionnaire was completed I had to create a personal profile that all my matches could read by answering more questions.  One of these questions was what are five things you can’t live without?  I won’t bore you with what I wrote, but here are some answers I came across: God, prayer, the bible, friends, family, water, food, music, the gym, my dog, laughter, cheese, my car, exercise etc.

So you probably never created an eHarmony profile and needed to answer that question, but maybe you have amused yourself with, “If I were stuck on a deserted island and were only allowed three things, what would they be?”  Obviously anything electronic is out of the question unless it’s solar powered (but who would chose to take a calculator?).  So I’d have to say a suitcase full of my favorite books, my guitar, and a surfboard.  Maybe.

My husband leads a Sunday evening bible study at our church.  Last weekend he grouped us into threes or fours and gave us an exercise to do together.  We had to create a top 10 list of bible verses for a new believer.  I completely underestimated the difficulty in narrowing the roughly 31,273 verses in the bible to just 10.  That activity not only went over very well with our little group, it’s been on the forefront of my mind since Sunday.  Because of it, I feel compelled to create a new top 10 and share it here.  I have tweaked it from being a top 10 for new believers to a top 10 for Abby.  The ten verses below are in random order:

“You shall have no other gods before me.”  Exodus 20:3

“There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”  Romans 8:1

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing , but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.”  1 Corinthians 13:4-8

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  Do not quench the Spirit.”  1 Thessalonians 5:16-19

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.’”  Matthew 16:24

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever.”  John 14:16

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.”  Ephesians 6:10-11

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?”  Romans 8:35

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”  Acts 1:8

This is not an exhaustive list.  I am, undoubtedly, missing some very important verses here.  I just know at the core of my being the weaknesses I have and how great they are that these particular ten instruct me in a most specific yet very simple way.  I sincerely hope to commit them to memory so that they may help me love God with all of my heart, all of my mind, all of my soul, and all my strength at a moment’s notice.

I challenge you, believer, to do the same.  And I pray you are refreshed, encouraged, and strengthened with the Spirit’s might all the more.

Little Nothings

Do you ever see anyone update their status on facebook or twitter that says something like, “I wish I had something profound to say” or even just “status update”? I kind of always find that a little odd, but I guess the purpose in a post like that is to humor others as they humor themselves. (Isn’t it funny how funny we think we are? I admit I crack myself up many times. My husband can attest to that and then tell you what makes me funny is that I think I’m funny. And then I would say the same thing about him HA!) I wish I had something great to say too, but many times I don’t either. I understand the pressure to contribute something earthshaking. I have a hunch many people feel the same way based on how many statuses and twits are actually quotes of somebody else like a bible verse, book excerpt, etc.

I suppose this blog post is kinda like that. No strong theme, rather rumpled. Just little nothings. But they kinda mean a little something to me so I write for pleasure’s sake.

Do you remember the lost art of letter writing? It’s not lost on Greg. He’s quite good at writing letters and sending them through the faithful postal service. It’s actually a little treasure in my opinion. I would much rather receive a long hand written letter than one typed via email. I hope to make this a new endeavor.

A piece of advice I contributed to my friend at a baby shower last week: Do not long for tomorrow, enjoy each day as they come. Our little ones are young only once. I’d say it’s something great to keep in mind when we pull our 1 and a half year olds out of the toilet and clean poop droppings from one end of the hallway to the other.

On our very first Valentines day we shared, Greg and I were in two different states. He was in New Orléans and I was in Fort Lauderdale. At this point, we actually had never yet met face to face. He came up with the very romantic idea of writing out a personal prayer on an index card and “Not my will but Yours be done, Lord” on another. We then were to attach it to a balloon and send them soaring into the sky at the exact same moment. Such a memorable day I’ll never forget. I took pictures and everything (you can find them on facebook). This year Greg bought us floating lanterns. It was 10pm last night when we began to light them in the back field and send them flying. Unfortunately, we live on a seminary campus and the campus police came running out to us in the middle of the field and stopped us before we could finish the sendoff. How lame is that? Yeah, I was mad. Definitely another Valentines I’ll never forget.

Bloggers and blogging make me cringe

I love to write. I should blog. No, don’t do it! It’s silly. Blogging is ridiculous. 

These honest thoughts have been going through my head all weekend. It’s true, I find bloggers and blogging rather silly. And Embarrassingly enough, I include myself in my last statement. Please forgive me, but blogging reminds me of the show American Idol. Bloggers think they have “talent” that the world needs to hear. And not only must they be heard, but it should be their means to a shot at Hollywood and rise to fame. I am abashed at my own blog and motives.

Let me no longer generalize. There is much sincerity in many blogs and their authors. They write, share, and contribute because it’s their sincere passion. Visions of grandeur are not the driving incentive but genuine benefaction and influence to the personal domain about them small or large. Blogging is a great way to instruct, encourage, reach out, etc, no matter what height your platform is.

I hope my earnest desire to write and share is authentic. My goal in blogging is to encourage, refresh, and entertain–even if it’s just to my husband and momma who very possibly are the only two who read it (and hopefully them if that).

I’m not sure how often I will produce a post, but I’m pretty excited as I once again attempt to take the blogging plunge.  So, until next time…

Crunch Berries and Holy Living

Wow. Blogging is definitely not the easiest. Julie and Julia made it look so easy – working 9 to 5 every day, coming home to cook multiple recipes every night and then blogging about it. It’s just not quite that simple. At least not for me. I’d much rather like to think I could find myself more identical with the Ms. Julia Child; lighted hearted and carefree, ready to try anything, productive and ready to eat. But, who am I kidding? I can only hope to aspire to that.

Truth be told, I’ve felt like doing nothing all day, most days. I’m still lying in bed as I type this current post out. (I’d like to take a moment right now to blame it on the pregnancy. Fatigue is a natural response, right ?) In fact, Greg is substitute teaching at White Castle High today. One reason why it’s good and bad at a the same time: I’ve got no accountability for being productive. Whahaha! That’s my a attempt at a mischievous laugh. So, I shall lie in bed all day and do nothing but facebook stalk my friends! (Great plan, huh Katherine?) Eh, honestly that’s a little too boring to do all day. So good chance I’ll add my favorite sitcom Reba to the mix.

Now that the Truth ship has set sail, I’ll admit my blogging problem is not due to lack of time, but lack of topic. The pride in me wants to contribute something wise and worthwhile, something gut-renching. But, I just can’t quite produce… so you get this: Capt’n Crunch’s Oops! All Berries is the best thing that’s happened since Rice Krispy Treats Cereal. Found them both on sale at Walmart last week. Score.

And I will add this. Ladies, do you know what the single, most hardest verse in the bible I am currently in combat with is? “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives”. 1 Peter 3:1

Now, I’ve got quite the believing husband, so the fight is not winning him over to salvation. In fact, he manages to win me over and over again to salvation as I constantly witness his passion for it. No, the fight is 1) being submissive, and 2) having the right behavior. What is the right behavior? Peter describes it 4 verses down as a “gentle and quite spirit”. Here’s the tough part: the word Gentle literally means mild in temperament or behavior; kind or tender. And of course the word Quiet means making little or no noise.

*So our job as women, as wives is to keep our temperament towards our husbands kind and tender with no disrespectful, noisy hoopla. A tough undertaking especially when we’re at odds with them. “For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.” Wow. My companionable prayer continues to be, “Lord, give me Your grace… for such a time as this.”

My stomach is definitely talking to me, so I must leave the comforts of bed and become productive and make myself some lunch. Definitely a worthwhile investment, I think. Good bye for now.

(*Greg, when you read this, know this: yes, I admit the struggle, but I have not attained it. So, I wouldn’t get your hopes up.)

Entertainment and Faith?

Greg and I live at the end of the Fellowship Hall of our church. It’s true. they added on a small apartment and fixed it up real nice for us. With nothing much more than a walmart and hole-in-the-wall food joints (which are actually some of the best places to eat) for about 20 miles, there’s not much more to do around here. We’ve got to get creative. But unfortunately, those creative juices just don’t flow our way too often.

And when you have so much free time on your hands with nowhere to go, logically the television is creative idea number one. Now, I’m not one generally given to television. I can’t help but feel I’ve wasted time whenever I sit and watch. Seriously. You can ask my husband!

But, boy, am I a sucker for Reba. Honestly, I could sit down and watch episode after episode while the daylight speeds away. Those days are few and far between, but Barbara Jean, Cheyenne, and Van have such a way of replacing any burdens and frustrations with happiness and sunshine, it’s tough not to give in. I’m at peace just thinking about them. Thus I gave into their lure last Saturday.

I also enjoy American Idol and anything related to food! Singing and food make me so happy. So when I’ve decided I’m bored with absolutely nothing else to do, DVR has been one great gadget.

Any entertainment on a screen, whether television or movie, serves as a great means of escape for our minds. Majority of us flip on the tube because we are mentally exhausted and need some way to rest. And where that is one good way to grant a mental vacation, let us not forget that it also is one good way to put ourselves in spiritual danger if we are not carefully quick to guard our eyes and minds. Wickedness runs rampant on the big screen and it, without a doubt, will quickly test our faith. Are we clinging to the Word in all matters even entertainment?

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8

My conclusion? Tv is okayed to be enjoyed! But in moderation. Never take off those Jesus googles when senselessly entranced in front of the tube or we will certainly throw ourselves to the wolves of temptation.

Just Another Rib Taking the Blogging Plunge

Just as Eve was one of Adam’s very own ribs, God saw it fit to make me a rib as well. My cozy and secure home is at my husband’s side. I always dreamed of a life of ministry side by side a man with a passion, but never imagined God’s plan today. We are now currently living in a little town in cajun country Louisiana called White Castle. No, this is not the home of the burger joint chain, actually, there’s no fast food joint for 10 miles around. Just sugar cane fields, a small grocery store, hardware store, two dollar stores, a 250 student high school, and one stoplight. My husband, Greg, pastors a small baptist church on the edge of town. He is, in fact, the only pastor, the only staff member at First Baptist Church White Castle.

This is a blog of the chronicles of the many happenings in this, my life as a preacher’s wife.